Funny Alcohol One Liners

Alcohol One Liners: Large collection of best alcohol one-line jokes and sayings about alcohol.

  • A person has to have a warm heart and a cold beer.
  • After the weekend the most difficult task is to remember names…
  • Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
  • Alcohol not only expands the blood vessels but also communications.
  • Alcohol not only helps to make new acquaintances, but also end the old once.
  • All the problems fade before a hangover
  • By the cup of Nescafé even the most secret thoughts turn into words, and by the bottle of vodka – into actions.
  • Cocktail ‘Three piglets’: buy a box of vodka and invite two friends.
  • Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer… I saw the video… we need to talk.
  • Don’t forget that alcohol helps to remove the stress, the bra, the panties and many other problems.
  • Don’t drink while driving – you will spill the beer.
  • Drink to make other people more interesting.
  • First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
  • He was in a pub when he proposed. It was very romantic – he got up on one knee.
  • Heading out for drinks, bail money’s on top of the fridge.
  • I am not an alcoholic. I simply enjoy living in liquid medium.
  • I became a vegetarian – switched to weed.
  • I got drunk last night and my house wasn’t where I left it.

Read:Chalo Daru pite hai..

  • I know my limits: if I fell down it means enough.
  • I say NO to the drugs, but they won’t listen.
  • I used to drink all brands of beer. Now, I am older Budweiser!
  • If only I knew that I will have this headache today, I would have got drunk yesterday.
  • If you see me with a water bottle, there’s probably vodka in it
  • If you wet your feet your throat will reject. If you ‘wet’ your throat your feet will reject.
  • If you wet your feet your throat will reject. If you ‘wet’ your throat your feet will reject.
  • I’m not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, but I already have one.
  • I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
  • In principle, I can stop drinking, the thing is – I don’t have such a principle.
  • In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
  • It’s better to be a worldwide alcoholic, than an Alcoholic Anonymous.
  • It’s better to have business with a drunk professional than a sober idiot.
  • My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy… so I got drunk.
  • No! for the last time stop asking if i am drunk. I am not drunk! Who would name their kid drunk?
  • One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of vodka by three hours, and a workday – eight hours.
  • Smoking is a slow death! But we’re not in a hurry…
  • Smoking is harmful, drinking is disgusting and to die young is a pity.
  • Temples are free to enter but still empty. Pubs charge to enter, but are full. People ignore inner peace &choose to pay for self destruction
  • Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward.
  • Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward.

Read: Desi Daru (Daaru) ke latest Jokes




  • That one liner ‘i’m not drinking too much tonight’ never goes as planned…
  • The speed of light is when you take out a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on.
  • There are a lot of female hormones in beer. When I drink five bottles I also can’t drive a car and start behaving illogically.
  • There are drunk bikers. There are old bikers. There are NO old, drunk bikers.
  • To a young housewife: remember that a small bottle of vodka not only will decorate the table but also will hide your cooking mistakes.
  • Transitional age is when during a hot day you don’t know what you want – ice cream or beer.
  • Trust me, you can dance! Vodka.
  • Unfortunately, but sometimes a woman can’t find herself a man. She doesn’t like the drunken ones, and the sober ones doesn’t like her.
  • Vodka is our enemy. But who said that we are afraid of our enemies?!
  • We must pay for the mistakes of our youth… at the drugstore.
  • We never knew he was a drunk… until he showed up to work sober.
  • What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks
  • What’s the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
  • Why is there so much blood in my alcohol system?
  • You can consider yourself lucky in life, if the cognac you drink is older than the woman that you’re sleeping with.
  • You won’t break our will: we drank, we are drinking and we will drink.

Read: Ladkiwale ki demand.. Hame aisa Ladka chahiye jo Paan, Cigrette, Daru na leta ho….Pandit answer !!!

 


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