Neil used to masturbate too much. Hence Armstrong.
You are so hot, are you the cause for global warming?
keeps landline to locate mobile phone.
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
That awkward moment when you don’t know how to smile when someone is taking a picture
If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean
If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious
If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly
You think your life is hard? Just think, there’s a turtle out there that has been flipped on its back and can’t get up. Screw your problems.