Alia bhatt: Hey dad, what plans for weekend ?
Mahesh bhatt: Income Tax Returns.
Alia bhatt: Hey first part kab release hua tha?
Mahesh bhatt: Jaa meri ma, tu shooting pe ja!!!
100 metre ki race ho rahi thi…
Referee said ‘1,2,3 GO!’…
Everybody started running except Alia bhatt.
Referee – Y r u not running…?
Alia – My number is 4.
SBI Bank: Humara bank aapko bina interest ke loan de raha hai….
Alia bhat: Agar dene mein interest hi nahi hai to kyu de rahe ho? Nahi chahiye….
Once there was a mirror that killed anyone who lied…
FRENCH : I think I dont smoke (died).
AMERICAN : I think I love my wife (died).
ALIA BHATT: I think.. (died)
Alia bhatt and varun dhawan are walking on a road, and they find a 1000 rupee note lying down.
Alia – What should we do now?
Varun- We’ll take 50:50.
Alia- What about the remaining 900?
Alia Bhatt: Let’s go for movie.
Varun: Shit, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment today..
Alia Bhatt: Just cancel it,Tell him you’re sick.
Alia reading newspaper..
“Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump”
Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping!!!
Deepika Padukone : I have more Fans than You..
Alia Bhatt: No Big deal, I have AC at Home.