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Bade Chote Jokes 2018

Bade: abe, saale tu kuchh karta nahi, dekh deewarein kitni gandi ho gayi, Ja paint lekar aa, paint karna hai deewaro par
Chhote: ohh, paint karna hai
Bade: haan, paint karna hai, jaa lekar aa
(Chhote push ups karne lagta hai)
Bade: abe tu yeh push ups kyun kar raha hai
Chhote: mehnat kar raha hoon
Bade: abe to mehnat kyun kar raha hai
Chhote: abe mehnat hi to rang (paint) laayegi na… hahaha 😀
Bade: Bakwas band kar.. 😡

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Bade kuchh apni family mein kaun bada kaun chhota hai uske baare me badbad kar raha tha
Chhote: Yeh kya kar raha hai…
Bade: Dikhta nahi… apni family tree bana raha hoon
Chhote: wahh, bada achcha kaam kar raha hai… humne kabhi apni families discuss hi nahi ki na…
Bade: Mujhe nahi sunna teri family ke baare me, wo to yeh mera school assignment hai isliye bana raha
hoon
Chhote: ohh… achchta tu teri family me sabse chhota hai?
Bade: Nahi, mera ek chhota bhai hai…
Chhote: Ohh, achcha… tuje pata hai, meri family mein mere Dad sabse chhote hain…
Bade: Ab tu pagal hai kya
Chhote: arey main sahi keh raha hoon, wo mujhse bhi chhote hain.
Bade: ho hi nahi sakta, achcha bata
Chhote: Abe wo abhi bhi Mummy ke sath sote hain 😀
:-p

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Chhote: Ek baat bolun?
Bade: Bol, bina bataye tujhse raha nahi jayega
Chhote: Ek admi paper padh raha tha… aur pata hai paper udd gaya
Bade: Haan to isme kaunsi badi baat hai
Chhote: Arey paper apne aap udd gaya
Bade: Abe hawa chali hogi to paper udd gaya hoga
Chhote: Nahin re, Paper plain (plane) tha, isliye udd gaya… hahaha
Bade: Bakwas Band Kar!
😉 😀

Also Read: Infosys Latest Jokes

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Bade: Yeh tere hath mein kya hai ?
Chhote: Cheque hai cheque, poore 15 rupaiye 75 paise ka
Bade: Kya baat hai, itna kamane lag gaya tu…. isme ek water bottle to aa hi jayegi
Chhote: Haan haan, atleast kamane to laga, chal hatt ab, mujhe school jaane de
Bade: Tu check leke school jaa raha hai! kya karega school ke jaake ise…
Chhote: Haan, school me ise padhana likhana hai..
Bade: Pehli baat to yeh bata ki check ko padhayega kaise, aur isko padha likhake kya karega?
Chhote: Arey ise padhaunga likhaunga nahi to yeh check Bank mein PASS kaise hoga… hahhaha
Bade: Bakwaas band kar…

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Bade: kya hua, bada pareshan lag raha hai
Chhote: haan, yaar thodi tabiyat kharab hai
Bade: kya ho gaya? doctor ko dikhaya?
Chhote: arey yaar dil mein dard hai… nahi dikhaya, Dr. Mehta ko dikhane hi ja raha hoon
Bade: Dr. Mehta ko! arey wo to dimag ka doctor hai?
Chhote: Haan, yaar Doctor mehta ko hi…wahi sahi karega na
Bade: Tu pagal ho gaya hai kya? heart ki beemari ke liye heart ke doctor ko dikha, pagalpan ke ilaaj
karne wale doctor ko kyun dikha raha hai?
Chhote: Arey wahi to dil ka ilaaj karega na…
Bade: Abe, Wo kaise?
Chhote: Tune nahi suna… Dil To Pagal Hai!!! ….hahahah
Bade: Bakwas band kar!!

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Chhote: Kya be, kab se upar dekh raha hai
Bade: Birds ko dekh raha hoon, unki life kitni mast hai na…
Chhote: wo kaise?
Bade: arey wo udd sakte hain na… kitni mast life hai
Chhote: to isme kya hua, aadmi bhi udd sakte hain
Bade: abe chal, aadmi kaise udd sakte hain
Chhote: udte hain.. tujhe uddna hai ?
Bade: wo kaise?
Chhote: Road pe khada ho ja, abhi truck ayega aur tujhe udaa dega… hahaha !
Bade: Bakwas band kar!!!

Also Read: Best Getting Friendzoned By Girls Memes And Jokes

Rahul Gandhi ki Shaadi And Other Jokes

Rahul Gandhi: Maa, Aapki wajah se hi meri shaadi nahi ho rahi hai..
Soniya: Wo kaise?
Rahul: Aaapke har poster mein likha hota hai..
Soniya ji ko “Bahu-Mat” do..

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Rahul Gandhi ekmatra aise jeevit rajneta hain,
Jo,
Janmdin manane Landon,
Ilaaj karane Newyork,
Baal katwane Spain,
aur ‘Naak’ katwane bharat aate hain!

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Rahul gandhi ke swagat mein band baza walo ki kutayi sirf isliye ho gayi kyunki unhone..
“TUM TO THEHRE PARDESI, SATH KYA NIBHAOGE”
bazaa diya tha!

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Rahul Gandhi kehte hai “Congress koi party nahi, ek Soch hai”
aur
Vidya Balan kehti hai “Jahan Soch hai, wahan Shouchalay hai”
Bada confusion hai bhai!!

Also Read: Breaking News – Rahul Gandhi Got Married !! ????????????

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Ek baar ek hawai jahaj mein 5 aadmi safar kar rahe the…
Sachin
Ambani
Rahul Gandhi
Narendra Modi
aur
Ek chhoti sa bachcha!
Achanak Jahaaj mein kuchh kharabi aa gayi,
Wahaa par 4 parachute the..
Sachin Bola:
“Main vishwa ka mahaan ballebaaj hoon,
Mera zinda rehna zaroori hai”
Phir ek parachute lekar kood gaya!
Ambani Bola:
“Main bharat ke dhani logo mein se hoon,
Mera rehna jaroori hai..”
Phir ek parachute lekar kood gaya!
Rahul Gandhi bola:
“Main iss desh ka sabse lokpriya neta hoon,
Mera zinda rehna jaroori hai..”
Phir ek parachute lekar kood gaya!
Narendra Modi bachche se bole:
“Beta aap desh ke bhavishya ho,
Jaao aap antim parachute leke kood jaao!”
Bachcha bola:
“Lekin yaha to 2 parachute hain…
Rahul Gandhi to mera School Bag lekar kood gaya!!”
Hahaha… Share to banta hai!! 😀 😛

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Rahul Gandhi has decided to field Mandira Bedi against Kiran Bedi as the Delhi CM candidate for Congress.
Any guesses why?
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Because 1 MB = 1024 KB!

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Alia bhatt: Ab ‘MARS’ wali chocolate aur bhi sasti ho jayegi..
Rahul gandhi: Main mars se chunav ladunga…
Priyanka Gandhi: We should change the name of mars to Rajiv Gandhi Lal Grah.
Anil ambani = my IPL team cricketers will be from MARS. I will name it after my wife’s name
“MARS TINA HOTTERS”.
Sonia Gandhi = Martians should be declared as Minorities…
Kejriwal = It is illegal step by Modi’s government to conquer mars. Hum MARS par dharna karenge..
Geelani = We want Mars free from India…
Chidambaram = Mars is a Special Economic Zone area. It Should be given to Robert Vadra..
Akhilesh yadav = Mars par Uttar pradesh se jyaada apradh hotey hain.
And the best statement comes from pakistan
Bilawal Bhutto = Hum Mars ka ek ek inch bharat se le lawange ….

Also Read:Who is Dumb ? Pappu (Rahul????) vs Kejriwal ji?

Rahul Gandhi Jokes 2018

Breaking news:
संजय दत्त ने अभी अभी प्रेस कॉन्फ्रेंस कर समाचार दिया है
“मुझे लोग सिर्फ प्यार से बाबा बुलाते है
मेरा कोई आश्रम नही है”
इस बीच राहुल गांधी ने कहा है.
मुझे राहुल बाबा ना कहें ,
मैं पप्पू ही ठीक हूं!

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नेताजी — आप लोग कौन हैं ?
किसान — हम लोग किसान हैं ।
नेता — आप लोगों के पैर में ये कीचड़ क्यों लगा है ?
किसान — हम लोग खेत में काम करके आ रहे हैं ।
नेता — अगली बार हमारी सरकार आएगी तो पूरे खेत में हम टाइल्स लगवा देंगे, जिससे आप लोगों को कीचड़ में काम नहीं करना पड़ेगा ।
किसान अभी कोमा में है
और, नेताजी का नाम तो आप जानते ही हैं…

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